Friday, March 25, 2011

Taking One Step Forward



Therefore humble yourselves 
[demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] 
under the mighty hand of God, 
that in due time He may exalt you, 
Casting the whole of your care 
[all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all
on Him, for He cares for you affectionately 
and cares about you watchfully. 
1 Peter 5:6-7 amp

Oh man, was I sinking down into the depths this morning!

It started with a quiet time that just wasn't clicking.

I was doing all my usual things, 
but I just wasn't connecting 
with Jesus. 

And, then, from there, it 
seemed like a normal morning, 
but somewhere along the way
things started just getting 
bigger
and
heavier
and 
growing
out of proportion.
 Way out of proportion.
I was mad at my kids for not wanting to cooperate with me,
I was overwhelmed by my "to do list",
I was sick of picking up, 
cleaning, directing kids,
redirecting kids, getting groceries, 
making meals, washing clothes, etc., etc., etc.

I wanted to crawl back into bed
and stay there.

I started visualizing a 
remote,
beautiful
beach
where I could just sit
and listen to 
and watch the waves. 

As I started to cry,
my two year old
barged into my room
and hugged me tight.

"It's OK, Mom."
she said in her cute little voice.
I knew the right thing to do,
I knew Jesus was right there with me,
I knew I just needed to cry out to Him,
 but it was like I just couldn't. 

So, I emailed my husband.

I told him I was having a hard day. 
And, I asked him to pray for me.
He must have,
because I was able to start 
looking up. 
I went back into my room and
literally cried out to 
our Father. 

I poured it all out,
dripping all over His feet.

And then, I was able
to take the next step forward.

I chose a praise song to play on You Tube
and cranked it up,
and danced around the living room 
with Ruthie.

Finally, I was able to gather the girls together
for devotions in the living room.

I love that we are using the kids' version of
because I get to do a review of what I 
read on my own in the morning.

And did I ever need a review! 

This is what it said:

"Grumbling and complaining are not what I want from you.
When you grumble, you are telling Me that you 
don't like the way things are going in your life —
that you hate My way of doing things. 
And when you complain, you are showing 
an ungrateful heart."

GULP! 

"Thankfulness is your protection against the 
sins of grumbling and complaining.
Being thankful also keeps you 
close to Me."

There was my theme for the year... gratitude. 

And then....

While the girls and I were having a really
good discussion about the devotion and the verses,

a car pulled up outside.

It was the Jehovah's Witness lady
who has visited me in the past. 

I hadn't seen her in a while,
but when she comes, 
she wants to read a verse or two to me.

I had to smile as she knocked on the door.

I knew God had a verse for me.

And He did.
The verse He delivered to my door this morning was:

Therefore humble yourselves 
[demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] 
under the mighty hand of God, 
that in due time He may exalt you, 
Casting the whole of your care 
[all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all
on Him, for He cares for you affectionately 
and cares about you watchfully. 
1 Peter 5:6-7 amp
 •

Humbly I repent of my ungrateful heart.
I acknowledge I was not liking the 
plans He had for my life,
and I confess that I was clutching onto my cares
with both tightly clenched fists. 

Thank you, Jesus, for caring for me affectionally
and for caring for me watchfully.
Thank you that I can cast all my cares on You.



2 comments:

Jade said...

A lot of times when we're in a bad mood, we won't talk to God... at least I know a lot of times I forget. But you did well to remember God in your pain and He helped you to see your situation clearer. Beautifully honest post.

cheryl said...

This really touched my heart Christa - It's comforting to know that others have the same feelings.. we are certainly not alone yet we can feel alone.. God is ever present and He's just waiting on us.. Thank you for sharing.. Thank you for who you are!