Deciding in my Heart

I have become so dry. 

So closed in and holding tight to the little I have. 

I have felt a distance between me and God, 

all the while knowing that it was not Him that had moved. 

He never leaves, never forsakes. 

He gave me these verses this morning 

as I came to Him and 

simply confessed the distance in my heart.

 I asked Him to show me,

 to search me and show me 

what had come between us.

 

Repent, all of you who forget me, 

or I will tear you apart,

and no one will help you. 

But giving thanks is a sacrifice 

that truly honors me. 

If you keep to my path, 

I will reveal to you the salvation of God.” 

Psalm 50:22, 23 

I had stopped being purposelly thankful 

and offering Him praise willingly and often. 

I had been focused on all that I have to do 

instead of Who He is. 

But thanksgiving throws open the doors to God. 

We are to enter His courts with praise. 

Enter His gates with thanksgiving 

and His courts with praise; 

give thanks to Him and praise His name. 

Psalm 100:4 

As I read 2 Corinthians 9 this morning 

after God showed me my need 

to return to giving Him thanks, 

verse 7 jumped off the page at me. 

God doesn't want me to give because I have to, 

He wants me to be joyful 

as I come to Him with my thanks. 

And, I have determined to do just that.... 

To regularly give Him thanks, with a joyful heart. 

"You must each decide in your heart how much to give. 

And don't give reluctantly or in response to pressure. '

For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.'"

2 Corinthians 9:7

As I was typing this out, 

this next verse just popped in my head. 

So, I share it now as I close. 

What, then, shall we say in response to this? 

If God is for us, who can be against us? 

Romans 8:31

Brand New

I have been made for a purpose!

"...to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, 

so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 

Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose 

and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, 

guaranteeing what is to come."

2 Corinthians 5:4-5 niv

Sometimes this mortal tent 

can seem so heavy, 

so constant,

never ending.

But there is more to come!

This is not the extent of it all.

Therefore, I can have joy 

as I cling to the promise of what is to come.

We live by faith, not by sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7 niv

So we make it our goal to please him, 

whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 

For we must all appear 

before the judgment seat of Christ, 

that each one may receive what is due him 

for the things done while in the body, 

whether good or bad.

2 Corinthians 5:9-10 niv

Because of what is to come,

I have a goal. 

Pleasing the Lord

should be the goal of my life. 

I am His

and one day I will stand before Him.

What will He say?

And he died for all, 

that those who live 

should no longer live for themselves 

but for him who died for them 

and was raised again.

2 Corinthians 5:15 niv

To live for Him, 

Who died for me,

is the least that I can do. 

He paid the price

and gave His all 

for you and me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, 

he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17 niv

I am a new creation!

Through Jesus 

the old has gone

the new is here to stay. 

We implore you on Christ’s behalf: 

Be reconciled to God. 

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, 

so that in him 

we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:20b-21 niv

"Jesus paid it all,

all to Him I owe!

Sin had left its crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow!"

Filling my Vessel of Earth with Light

For God Who said, Let light shine out of darkness, 

has shone in our hearts so as [to beam forth] 

the Light for the illumination of the knowledge 

of the majesty and glory of God 

[as it is manifest in the Person and is revealed] 

in the face of Jesus Christ (the Messiah). 

However, we possess this precious treasure 

[the divine Light of the Gospel] 

in [frail, human] vessels of earth, 

that the grandeur and exceeding greatness 

of the power may be shown to be from God 

and not from ourselves.

2 Corinthians 4:6-7 amp

•

It comes so slowly,

the realization that dullness has come.

How dry life has become,

void of the crackle of life,

so heavy, and hard.

Looking down,

focusing on the vessel of earth,

dims the Light.

All I can see is the cracks,

the powdery residue drifting all around.

Where is hope?

I'm just a clay pot.

And a broken one at that.

And all around me are broken jars,

bumping into me,

bruising and jostling.

The hunger for Light is there.

I know where the Source is. 

I just have to lift my eyes. 

•

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? 

Why are you crying the blues? 

Fix my eyes on God— 

soon I'll be praising again. 

He puts a smile on my face. 

He's my God.

Psalm 42:5 msg

•

I may be a broken jar,

a vessel of earth.

But I am filled with the fullness of Life and Light.

Looking up, He floods my face 

with the Light of His Glory and Grace. 

Filled.

Life abundant.

•

For our light, momentary affliction 

(this slight distress of the passing hour)

 is ever more and more abundantly 

preparing and producing and achieving 

for us an everlasting weight of glory 

[beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all 

comparisons and all calculations, 

a vast and transcendent glory 

and blessedness never to cease!],

Since we consider and look 

not to the things that are seen 

but to the things that are unseen; 

for the things that are visible are temporal 

(brief and fleeting), 

but the things that are invisible 

are deathless and everlasting.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 amp

•

My brokenness is temporal.

He is Eternal, Deathless and Everlasting.

Oh downcast soul, 

look up!

He will fill with Light.

He lifts us up. 

Fix your eyes on Him.

He is the Source

For our knowledge is fragmentary 

(incomplete and imperfect), 

and our prophecy (our teaching) 

is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect). 

But when the complete and perfect (total) comes, 

the incomplete and imperfect will vanish away 

(become antiquated, void, and superseded). 

For now we are looking in a mirror 

that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection 

[of reality as in a riddle or enigma], 

but then [when perfection comes] 

we shall see in reality and face to face! 

Now I know in part (imperfectly), 

but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, 

even in the same manner as I have been fully 

and clearly known and understood [by God]. 

And so faith, hope, love abide 

[faith--conviction and belief respecting 

man's relation to God and divine things; 

hope--joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; 

love--true affection for God and man, 

growing out of God's love for and in us], 

these three; but the greatest of these is love. 

1 Corinthians 13:9-10, 11-12, 13

•

In the past when I have read 1 Cor. 13 I have always sighed 

and stepped away feeling discouraged. 

In fact, even this morning, when I realized we were reading 

this chapter I felt heaviness and just sighed. 

I could only see what I was not and what I did not have.

Through a few different sources, 

(including vs. 13 in the Amplified Version) 

the Lord reminded me that He is the source of this love. 

I do not have the ability to conjure up true love. 

He alone is the source of real, Godly love. 

Thus, another reason that I need to put my whole trust 

in Him and rely on Him solely and completely. 

Only as I keep my eyes on Him do I become more like Him. 

•

“And we all, with unveiled face,

 beholding the glory of the Lord, 

are being transformed into the same image 

from one degree of glory to another. 

For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

 -- 1 Corinthians 3:18

“And everyone who thus hopes in Him 

purifies himself as he is pure”

-- 1 John 3:3

Returning

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, 

in quietness and trust is your strength, 

but you would have none of it.

Isaiah 30:15 niv84

•

It doesn't take much, really.

And in the midst of learning new things 

and starting back up in others,

it comes so easy.

Discomfort.

Unease.

Creeping up from the pit of 

my stomach.

Straight to my head

where it rolls around 

enlarging with each circle.

Simple worlds shared by another

sent me reeling.

Why?

Is there something wrong with me?

What should I do?

Then Your words come.

Spoken so clearly and direct.

Straight to my heart.

Quietness.

Trust.

Return.

Yes, Lord. 

Oh, Yes!

•

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; 

he rises to show you compassion. 

For the LORD is a God of justice. 

Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18 niv84

Getting to Where I'm Going

"In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you.

 I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. 

Strength! Courage! 

You are going to lead this people to inherit the land 

that I promised to give their ancestors. 

Give it everything you have, heart and soul. 

Make sure you carry out The Revelation 

that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. 

Don't get off track, either left or right, 

so as to make sure you get to where you're going.

 And don't for a minute let this Book 

of The Revelation be out of mind. 

Ponder and meditate on it day and night, 

making sure you practice everything written in it. 

Then you'll get where you're going; 

then you'll succeed. 

Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! 

Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. 

God, your God, is with you every step you take." 

-- Joshua 1:3-9 MSG

God is with me! 

He is not ever going to leave or turn His back on me, 

and He's not going to give up on me.

But how many times do I give up on Him? 

How quickly to I turn and give up? 

He guarantees my success, 

promises to be with me always and gives me His Word 

to guide me and show me how to live. 

But I have even more! 

I have the Holy Spirit to lead and counsel and guide me, 

and to pray words for me when I have none. 

I have a part in this too.

 I have to follow and give it all that I got 

and stay in HIs Word and fill my mind and heart 

with all that His Word says. 

But most important, I have to do what His Word says. 

Then I will "get to where I am going. Then I will succeed."

As I read back over the verses in Joshua again,

these words jumped out at me:

"You are going to lead this people to inherit the land 

that I promised to give their ancestors. 

Give it everything you have, heart and soul. "

As a mom, I have a "people" that I am leading. 

At times I feel like we are out in the wilderness,

and the way can get so rocky and scary. 

And I can lose heart. 

I can become half-hearted and lazy. 

But as I read these words today, 

I felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me

and specifically about my mothering. 

"Give it everything you have, heart and soul!"

"Don't be afraid or discouraged! I am with you!"

"I have given you everything you need to succeed,

you just need to fill up with my Word and do what it says."

Father, Thank You for always being with me. 

Only then can I be strong and courageous. 

Thank you for giving me all that I need to succeed. 

I have Your presence, Your Word and Your Holy Spirit. 

And as it says in 1 Corinthians, I have every spiritual gift that I need 

and You will keep me strong to the end. 

Forgive me for the many times that I have turned away, 

that I have not trusted in You, 

that I have been full of fear and empty of Your Word. 

Help me today to choose to stick close to You. 

Thank you for showing me my half-heartedness, please forgive me.

Thank you that You have given me all I need to lead my flock.

Please help me to give it all I have as I fill up on Your Word 

and as I trust in You.

Living by God's Power

So don’t make judgments about anyone 

ahead of time—before the Lord returns. 

For he will bring our darkest secrets to light 

and will reveal our private motives. 

Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due. 

-- 1 Corinthians 4:5 NLT

•

For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk;

 it is living by God’s power. 

-- 1 Corinthians 4:20 NLT

~•~

Oh man! I do this way too often! 

Jumping to conclusions about someone, 

for good or bad, and then holding them to that assessment 

(which is completely my own) in all my dealings with them. 

This affects the way I think of the person 

and the way that I talk about them. 

As it says in verse 20, 

I can talk night and day about not judging people, 

but if I don't, by God's power, stop judging, 

my talk is just idle chatter. 

A clanging cymbal. 

(Hmmmm, sounds like another passage 

that is coming up in 1 Corinthians....)

As I sit here, all the various analogies 

of what our relationship with God 

is supposed to be come flooding into my mind... 

He is the Potter and I am the clay,

 He is the True Vine and I am the branch, 

I am the cracked pot and He is the Life and Light that fills me. 

He is my Shepherd and I am His little lamb. 

He is God, I am not. 

He knows all things, I see as through a dark glass. 

I see in part, He sees it all. 

He is the Judge and He is Love. 

As I look at people around me, 

I have no way of knowing the whole story of their lives. 

I have no way of seeing all that led up to someone 

making the choices they have made, right or wrong.

 Only God sees and can judge the motivation of the heart. 

And He does so with Everlasting Love and Mercy. 

Father, I choose to live by Your power. 

Help me to come to you with all things and allow 

You to speak to me and show me how I should live. 

Fill me up with You today. 

Fill me with Your love. Amen.